“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
To say things have been crazy busy and a tad bit overwhelming since my last post would be an understatement. The mother in me has felt very guarded about what to share or not share on a social media platform and still very reserved about putting our story out there. With that being said, the positive part of sharing this chapter in our lives with all of you is the abundance of love, support and prayers we have felt and experienced over the past 3 weeks. So… I’ll start where I left off:
Since my last post we have had 3 doctor’s appointments/weight checks and examinations of the nodule. We have met with another pediatric surgeon who confirmed to us that his recommendation would also be to have the mass removed and tested sooner, rather than later.
Incase you missed it and for those of you who don’t follow me on social media, at our first weight check/examination the doctor’s decided to move the surgery up a week to this Wednesday, October 16th.
As I stated in my previous post, the doctor’s are not treating us as an emergency but still with a sense of urgency. Because our biggest risk factor on Wednesday is the anesthesia, we still wanted to wait until Dixie met what the doctor’s like to call the “Rule of 10’s” 10 weeks, 10 pounds and 10 grams of hemoglobin. Tomorrow D will hit the 11 week mark. At our appointment with the surgeon today, she weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs. 10 oz. and the doctor’s are confident that her hemoglobin is fine. Yay!!
These last few weeks have been very emotionally draining. I keep coming back to the saying “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.” We’ve seen countless waiting rooms and doctors and still walk out with a lot of unknowns and “it could be scenarios” I’ve really found myself diving more into scripture everyday. 1 John 5:14-15 says “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” I truly believe God not only hears my prayers and pleas but he has heard your prayers too. I can’t thank each and everyone of you enough for not only the prayers, but the meals, the help with the boys, the cards etc. I assure you not one thing has gone unnoticed and we are humbled by the kindness of not only our friends but also that of strangers. I realize that we are all fighting our own battles each and everyday and the fact that so many of you have added us to your prayer lists is so heartwarming. I am forever grateful.
I ask that you continue to pray for us this week. I do have a few specific prayer requests:
Although I know it is common procedure and it will be just fine, the thought of my itty bitty baby having a tube down her throat makes me sick to my stomach. For some reason since the explanation of the procedure, this is one part I just can’t get out of my head . If you could pray for me to shake that image and know that it’s just what they do and not harp on it so much, I would greatly appreciate it.
Dixie will be NPO starting at midnight tomorrow night. She is used to having a bottle when she wakes up every morning. I ask that you pray for us as we try to soothe her until surgery time without her being able to understand why she is hungry and we cannot feed her. I often joke that she is an emotional eater. 🙂 but in all seriousness, she is very soothed by her bottle and I pray that her pacifier will suffice until after the surgery.
Please continue to pray for her surgeon and surgery team. Pray the surgery goes quick and smooth. We are only anticipating about a 20 minute surgery.
Pray that Dixie wakes up from anesthesia okay and is soothed by the precious nurses in recovery until they allow us to see her.
Please pray that she is in minimal pain and that we all easily adapt to new ways of picking her up and holding her.
Above all else, please pray that the next time you hear from me it is with good results from the pathologist and we can move past this part in her and our lives.
I was talking with a friend the other day about how I was more worried about the surgery than the results and how I really hoped that I don’t just have my head buried in the sand but that I truly have a peace about it. I was expecting her to say like I’ve heard a million times “I’m sure it will all be fine but if it isn’t…” But she didn’t, she looked at me and said “Paige, I truly believe that God gives us a sense of discernment. Actually, I don’t believe it, I know he does.” Those words have stuck with me more than anything these past few weeks and have really kept me strong in believing that this is all going to end just fine and just be another part of our testimony for Him.
I have worn this song out since it was sent to me a few weeks ago. As much as Will and I would give anything to trade places with Dixie on Wednesday, Jesus is the one we need…
“But Jesus on hearing this answered him, “Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well.” Luke 8:50